What Attracts Women: How to Do it Right
When you’ve been turned down hundreds of times, you might be wracking your brain wondering what attracts women. You’ve seen countless movies, read all the books – but still nothing. Is there some secret club you have to join to solve this riddle? It’s time to forget any of your preconceived notions about women to start making progress. Are you ready?
It’s not about how successful you sound.
One of the first things that you should remember about what attracts women is that they are looking for a MAN. Real men are different from boys pretending to be men. If you have to brag about your new car, you’re not one! Women find down-to-earth men who are doing something worthwhile with their lives more attractive than any good-looking guy who just spends all his time partying.
It’s not about finding a great pickup line.
Sincerity is what attracts women the most. If you flatter everybody you meet with the same lines – you’ll get nothing back. If you’re really attracted to somebody, make a personal effort to get close to them. Find out what makes them tick. Then get under their skin by showering them with your brand of unique attention. If they feel that you are making an effort to get to know them better, you’ve already got a foot in the door.
My friend James Bradley has been teaching men how to attract their ideal women for as long as I can remember, and recently he interviewed a model called Sarah from San Diego to uncover what she looks for in guys, what’s the one thing a guy could say to her on the street to get her to stop, and what tips she’d give guys who want to know her better.
James found that even though she models part time, her real dream is to become an interior designer and have a boyfriend who’s just as ambitious. She’s also got a surprising reason why she’d prefer not to meet a guy in a bar or online … read on!
“There’s More to Life than Girls”
Interview with Sarah – 22, Model/Waitress/Student, California
James: Describe yourself. What do you do for a living? What kinds of things do you like to do to relax?
Sarah: I’m studying interior design part time and waitressing and modeling to pay the bills. To relax, I hang out with friends, go shopping, you know, the regular stuff.
James: Are you single or seeing anyone?
Sarah: I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago, so, yeah…. It’s really weird being single again. The worst thing is getting hit on all the time. I mean, I’m a waitress, so I’m used to it, but I used to be able to go out with my boyfriend and have a good time without getting bothered by other guys. Now when I go out, it’s like … yuck. Get away from me.
James: What mistakes are these guys making?
Sarah: Just being too obvious about it, I guess. If I’m out with my friends, I kind of want to hang out with my friends. If a guy comes up to us, we know that he wants to hit on at least one of us. Otherwise, why would he come up?
James: So you would never give a guy who came up to you a chance?
Sarah: I’m not saying that. Obviously, if he’s really cute, I’d at least say hello. I guess I’d rather just meet a guy in a normal place, like through friends or something. Like, I imagine that someday we’re going to get married and everyone’s going to be asking us how we met. I don’t want to say we met in a bar!
James: So you’d rather you had a better story to tell.
Sarah: Exactly. Like, you know, our eyes met across a crowded room or something.
James: What about online dating?
Sarah: That would be worse! Could you imagine saying, “We met online”? I know it’s more socially accepted these days, but I would personally feel uncomfortable admitting to anyone that I had my profile on a website. And a picture of me – definitely not. People pay to take pictures of me, so I’m not just going to be giving them away.
James: How did you meet your last boyfriend?
Sarah: Waitressing, actually. He and his friends used to come in every night at eleven o’clock and order breakfast. It was really weird. They always sat in the same place, so I got to know them pretty well.
James: Why did you break up? If you’re okay about it…
Sarah: Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I felt like he wasn’t really supporting me. Like, he’d make fun of what I wanted to do. He didn’t think I’d ever get a job in interior design and that I was basically wasting my time. You should always support your boyfriend or girlfriend in what they want to do. He wanted me to basically be modeling full time, but he has no idea what it’s like.
James: Did you feel like he was just dating you for your looks?
Sarah: Sometimes. He used to refer to me as “my girlfriend the model.” I guess “my girlfriend the designer” didn’t sound as good to him.
James: What are you looking for in a guy now?
Sarah: Someone who’s funny and really interesting and romantic. My ex used to invite me over and then spend all of his time on the computer. I’m like, “I don’t care about your computer. Let’s do something.” I see this with all my friends’ boyfriends. They’re more interested in getting pizza and a movie on Saturday night than doing something fun. They’re like, “It will cost money.” So what?
James: So you want someone who isn’t boring.
Sarah: Yeah, for sure. Someone who actually has a life. That’s the great thing with being at school because you’re surrounded by people who have these goals. They’re working to get somewhere. Compared with my ex-boyfriend and his friends, who just wanted to hang out and have enough money to spend on beer and their cars.
James: What would show you that a guy had a life?
Sarah: He’d be doing cool things. Like, I don’t know, going to different places and have all these different people he knows. That’s really attractive: when everyone knows your guy. I dated a guy once who was nicknamed the “Mayor” because everyone knew him. We’d go into, like, a grocery store, and people would be stopping him and saying, “What’s up?” That was great.
Other things, I guess, would be that he was earning good money, because if you don’t have a life you don’t have money. I don’t feel like I’m there yet, but once I’m an interior designer I’ll have enough money for my own apartment and really awesome shoes.
Yeah, just doing more than sitting around with his buddies.
James: If a guy stopped you on the street right now, what’s the one thing he could say to you to make you want to be with him?
Sarah: “You’re hot, I want you”? Probably not. Not unless the guy was really good-looking. Usually, if a guy stopped me on the street, I’d either think that he needed help or that something was wrong with him, like he wanted money or something. Asking for directions is always good. Especially if it’s somewhere close, like I could walk him there.
James: How long does it take for you to decide if you want to get to know someone further?
Sarah: Usually almost instantly. Sometimes my first impression is wrong, but it’s more in terms of, “You’re nice to talk to,” rather than, “Oh my god, you’re so hot.” You can tell if a guy has a lot going for him right off the bat. Just stuff like the way he walks, you know, how he smiles, whether he works out…. What really annoys me are the guys who want to meet you, like, they’ll think up some clever line like I’m supposed to give them a treat just for coming up to me. No clue that I’m a real person. Sometimes they’ll even talk to my clothes, like I’m not even there. I’m saying “clothes,” but you know what I mean. Come on, get a grip!
James: What tips would you give guys who want to get to know you better?
Sarah: Just treat me like a real person. Respect what I want to do. Don’t try to get me into bed. Have a life of your own that’s actually interesting. There’s more to life than computers and music and cars, you know? Oh, and even girls. Yeah, there’s more to life than girls. Once you get that, then come back to me.
End of Interview.
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